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Beach House Recovery Center » Blog » White Picket Fence
I grew up in a beautiful suburb 30 minutes south of Boston, in an area that most families would dream of raising a family. I had two loving parents in my life, an older sister, and a house that looked right out of the movies, white picket fence and all.
As I sat in rehab two years ago, my therapist would continually probe for an event or situation that first triggered my fifteen-year drug habit; but the reality was there was no possible way I could put the blame for my addiction on anyone other than myself. My parents had argued and eventually got a divorce when I was in college, but it was an amicable one and certainly did not lead to me shoving pills down my throat on a daily basis.
It was not until I had about a year sober that I began to realize my addiction stemmed from character defects I had been born with or developed early on in life—my own personal character defects.
My self-esteem was always low, and being teased was an everyday occurrence when I was younger. When I was nine years old, I was diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome, a nerve disorder that caused involuntary tics. At a time when my confidence was already low, this made it even more difficult for me to love myself. This caused a lot of physical and mental stress, and eventually led to an eating disorder. I had severe body image issues and barely ate, out of fear I was getting fat.
It was not until I went to treatment that I realized the diagnosis of both of these disorders was tied to my substance abuse later on in life. I continued the rest of my early childhood doing everything I could to be popular. I often acted out in class, and did self-degrading things to gain respect from my peers. I was insecure, scared, and uncomfortable in my own skin. I also feared change, and the transition to high school was a difficult one.
My ultimate goal was to be liked by people and have many friends, so I was excited when I was invited to a party on the first day of school. The entire day I thought about what I was going to wear, and envisioned myself making everyone laugh and being the life of the party. I arrived to the party, and within ten minutes I was handed a beer and was passed a joint of marijuana. I was in love. I finally felt comfortable in my own skin, and this feeling was something I never wanted to let go.
Whether you’re researching for yourself or a loved one, Beach House can help. We understand that this is a serious time in your life and that the treatment center you choose matters. We want you to feel comfortable and empowered to make the right decision for yourself, a friend, or a family member. This is why a counselor is waiting and available to answer your questions and help put your mind at ease regarding the next steps. Many of the staff at Beach House have walked in your shoes. If you feel you’re ready or want more information about how to help a loved one, we can help today. You can also learn why we are voted the #1 rehab for addiction treatment in Florida.
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