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Beach House Recovery Center » Blog » Redefining Your Role in the Household, Post-Recovery
Chemical dependence is always a family problem. If you have an addiction disorder, chances are other members of your household have unconsciously encouraged it, usually in one or more of the following forms:
Hopefully, your decision to get treatment was accompanied by a whole-family decision to get involved in therapy and make changes in household dynamics. A major point of concern will be: As a recovering addict, what future role will you play in the household? Chances are you’ve been either the chronically dependent soul or the proud and overachieving head of household—or the former when you were high and the latter when you were sober. Unless you take steps to avoid sliding back into those roles, the household won’t get much healthier and you’ll be in worse danger of addiction relapse.
You’re likely the “take-charge” type, feeling obligated to handle everything and show no weakness. Since the most gifted of us are only human, trying to be beyond reproach will quickly raise your stress levels into the “intolerable” zone. You don’t have to abdicate as family leader, but do draw on democracy rather than monarchy for your leadership principles.
You’re likely accustomed to thinking of yourself as “just” a stay-at-home parent, and of your partner as the “smart” one who does the “important” work. Assuming your partner isn’t toxic or abusive, you can build your self-esteem (and reduce relapse dangers) by taking more of an equal-partner role.
Chances are you’ve still taken either the “leader” or the “dependent” role. Consider which of the above points apply to you, and implement them. (Family therapy is helpful here.)
Your parents may be tempted to “baby” you in the name of helping you recover. Resist the appeal of basking in such pampering: it’s detrimental all around.
If you’re reasonably able-bodied and sound-minded, make alternate living arrangements as soon as possible: relying on family for basic needs will hurt your commitment to staying sober. If you need caretaking, find other ways you can make active contributions to the household (e.g., reading to the children or recording an oral history for the family).
Whether you’re researching for yourself or a loved one, Beach House can help. We understand that this is a serious time in your life and that the treatment center you choose matters. We want you to feel comfortable and empowered to make the right decision for yourself, a friend, or a family member. This is why a counselor is waiting and available to answer your questions and help put your mind at ease regarding the next steps. Many of the staff at Beach House have walked in your shoes. If you feel you’re ready or want more information about how to help a loved one, we can help today. You can also learn why we are voted the #1 rehab for addiction treatment in Florida.
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