“The 12 Steps of Forgiveness” by Paul FerriniAnna Ciulla
Welcome to Beach House Center for Recovery’s Monthly Book Club! Each month, a member of our community recommends a book that inspired them, changed their life, helped a loved one through a tough time, or is simply too helpful to overlook. This month, Tammy Davis recommends “The 12 Steps of Forgiveness” by Paul Ferrini.
Tammy Davis is both a Master Clinical Aromatherapist and Ontological Coach. At the same time, she is also in long-term recovery from her addictions as well as those of my family. For as seemingly unrelated and unconventional as these areas appear to be, they were and continue to be a divinely guided path that offers profound insight and healing. Essentially, both have everything to do the essence of who and why we are which inspires Tammy to serve others in recovery, their families in addition to educating our communities as a means of reestablishing the life-giving connection we all deserve.
To learn more, feel free to visit Synergessence as well as follow Tammy Davis on Twitter. She also has a Facebook group called ‘The 12 Steps of Forgiveness’ which is a safe, sacred space of exploration, discovery and support.
How did you hear about the book?
I learned of this book about 12 years ago while training to be a Coach
Who is the book’s intended audience?
It’s a manual / structure designed to help anyone ready to move from fear into love
Is there a chapter or passage that is particularly meaningful to you? Can you briefly describe it?
Because of the way this book is written, the answer to this question depends on the space you’re in, at any particular time. That said, Step 3 has considerable meaning for me right now. The title is ‘Withdraw the Projection’ which has everything to do with accepting that we are the source of all that we need. That our mission is ‘to find love where it begins, not where it ends’. This step encourages the individual to stop looking outside of him or herself for validation, worth or even answers and reinforces the fact that each of us is a channel for love which is much easier said than done. For this reason, Mr. Ferrini reminds the reader to stick with this step until it is understood in the heart. In fact, this is his recommendation for each step.
What do you think is the most effective pace to read or listen to the book? Small parts like a chapter a day, read the whole book in a few days, or doesn’t matter?
His thoughts and frames of reference are intense, making this a slow, deep process and given the fact that the book is only 99 pages, that’s probably a good thing. It’s definitely not meant to be read from cover to cover. Truthfully, it’s better off being read and practiced in a random fashion.
Why would you recommend it?
Because addiction is a mask we put on to hide our pain and fears. However, we are not doing ourselves any favors by hiding; it’s an illusion. At the same time, I totally get how unsafe it feels to be real; yet, the world is dying for connection; yet, the only way we can restore this is to begin with ourselves. Ironically, the more we hide, the greater the disconnection AND the bigger the gap, the more unsafe it seems. If nothing else, this book is an awesome tool for helping us reconnect to ourselves. There is nothing to do beyond that. Love is the life-force that facilitates healing.
Is there anything else you would like to add to your review?
Even though it’s called ‘The 12 Steps of Forgiveness’ this book is not meant to be worked like the 12 Steps. You can start at any point and focus on just a few. Mr. Ferrini wrote it in such a way that each step embraces the point beautifully so even if the reader doesn’t get to all 12 that’s ok. There is no right or wrong way to go through them.
The 12 Steps of Forgiveness can be purchased on Amazon, if you’d like to purchase this book for you or a friend in recovery.