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Beach House Recovery Center » Blog » Balancing Long-Term Planning with Living in the Moment
If you try to live by proverbs, you soon learn that life is full of paradoxes. Many hands make light work, but too many cooks spoil the broth. Out of sight out of mind, but absence makes the heart grow fonder. Look before you leap, but he who hesitates is lost.
And one such seeming contradiction taken straight from addiction-recovery literature: Live one day at a time, but plan for the future.
All these bits of wisdom only seem contradictory because reality is too complex to be reduced to aphorisms. While decision-making would be easier with more “this is always right or wrong” truths, trying to live like that only encourages the sort of “I’m right and you’re wrong and I’m going to make you do it my way” thinking that is responsible for much of the hard feelings and violence in the world.
Aristotle had a much better idea with the “Golden Mean”—the principle that going to extremes in either direction (absolutely-no-exceptions vs. rules-were-made-to-be-broken) is almost always a bad idea, and the secret to success is to steer a path between—using situation-specific discretion to map the exact route. While this takes more work, it hones the responsibility that lies at the heart of success—in life and sobriety.
Let’s take a closer look at the road between “one day at a time” and “planning for the future.”
The principle of staying sober one day at a time was intended to guard against preoccupation with “I can never have another drink in my life”—which could lead to becoming overwhelmed with the length of the road ahead, or to an unhealthy focus on feeling “deprived.” However, no one ever meant to imply “don’t attempt to anticipate potential relapse temptations.” In fact, a vital part of sobriety is understanding when one is likely to be tempted and why—so one can avoid being caught off guard and unprepared to resist the temptation.
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Sometimes, even one day at a time seems too much to handle, which is probably why “living in the moment” became another aphorism. The key to successful in-the-moment living is mindfulness: allowing yourself to be fully in the present and to experience it with all your senses. Mindfulness has its dark-side extremes too—banishing all thoughts of past and future can become a road to chronic procrastination or impulsiveness—but in the “golden mean” range, it nurtures gratitude, self-knowledge and acceptance.
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Most professional life coaches recommend setting one-year, five-year and ten-year goals. To which many people respond with, “The way things are going, the world as we know it may not last a year!” Or, especially with people forty and up, “But I’ll be fifty, sixty, seventy-five by the time I finish!”
Obvious implication: “Unless there’s an absolute guarantee I’ll finish this in full and have years left to enjoy the results, there’s no point in starting.” Sounds pretty silly when put like that, doesn’t it? Why not go ahead and start on some long-term goals? At the least, any progress you make will be a happiness-and-success improvement over just passing time for the next decade.
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Whether you’re researching for yourself or a loved one, Beach House can help. We understand that this is a serious time in your life and that the treatment center you choose matters. We want you to feel comfortable and empowered to make the right decision for yourself, a friend, or a family member. This is why a counselor is waiting and available to answer your questions and help put your mind at ease regarding the next steps. Many of the staff at Beach House have walked in your shoes. If you feel you’re ready or want more information about how to help a loved one, we can help today. You can also learn why we are voted the #1 rehab for addiction treatment in Florida.
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