Transformation
Transformation literally means going beyond your form”
– Wayne Dyer
Just like a butterfly, I feel newly emerged from my isolated cocoon. I am no longer darting off to rescue others just so I could feel better about myself. I had begun to see more of the whole picture – thanks to the blessings of my sponsor and newfound sober support friends.
I started to fit in with people and the world, no longer feeling emptiness and separation.
The influence of sobriety and living the steps deliberately, expanded outward to transform more than merely myself. All my relationships became new again, whether they were friends from my past or friends from my new social circle. My whole life transformed and my mother’s life did, too.
My mom and I had frequent casual conversations about what I was learning and how things were now different for me. Things like surrendering my fears to a higher power; going with the flow in my life, living in the present moment, one day at a time. Though my mom is not an alcoholic, she was greatly influenced by the spiritual changes I made in my life. She saw what was working for me and began to apply some of my lessons into her circumstances. She thought the same principles in life worked just as well for a non-alcoholic. She began to blossom in a whole new way.
The deep, self-reflective work I did with my sponsor transformed judgement, resentment, anger and pain, into more acceptance, compassion and forgiveness. My whole attitude toward everyone changed and it was reflected back in all things throughout my life. It was visible in my relationships. Even short, one-time encounters attracted an entirely new sort of energy exchange. My work became more rewarding and I began to think more outside of the box. Fear of the future was a thing of the past and I learned that living with uncertainty could actually be exciting in a good way! You never knew what was around the corner so life was far from boring. Yet, I knew I could handle whatever might come up.
I want to point out something important here. The external conditions of my life remained the same at this point. I’m still financially broke and struggling to get my business going. I’m still living in a small apartment with my mom and I still cry every day for the loss of my beloved doggie. There are welcomed events that come into my life and unwelcomed events as well. Yet, I continue to live with peace, stability and even joy in my heart. This emotional sobriety spreads like wildflowers, touching everyone around me.
This proved to me that all the drama that used to permeate my outer world, was not from the outer world. It was all from inside me. And when I changed what was inside me, my outer world changed with it. On a day to day basis, all that we think, feel, do or say, affects our environment and everyone in it. And that, in turn, all comes back to us. We get back what we give out.
Learning to accept this new ease, grace and joy into my life developed into a stronger contact with my Higher Power – and maybe that’s all that matters.
Success can be found in your daily routine
As for digging my way out of the dark cocoon – it was from everyday diligence with my ongoing step work and these 5 simple habits that I added to my daily life:
- I began every day by reading several daily devotionals and talking with my Higher Power. I reaffirmed to God that I wanted to be in alignment with His desires and plans for me that day.
- I went to an AA meeting every day, whether I wanted to or not.
- Every night at bedtime, I devoted about ten minutes to telling God: (a) all that I was grateful for that day, and (b) that I wanted to grow closer to Him.
- Throughout the day, I would repeat the 3rdstep prayer, reminding myself that I am surrendering my life to my Higher Power and that I choose to be alignment with what He wants for me.
- Throughout the day, I would be on the lookout for opportunities to be of assistance whenever the chance came my way. Helping others was now my new life’s purpose.
Effort and courage are not enough without purpose and direction”
– John F. Kennedy