My whole life I was the average student. Never once did I think that smoking weed every day was hindering my ability to learn and perform at the highest level possible. I was content with getting B’s and C’s in class, and just continued cruising through.
I graduated from high school and was accepted—by a hair—into the University of Massachusetts Amherst, after being placed on the waitlist for a few months. While in college, I continued smoking marijuana daily, and any activity in my life was not enjoyable unless I had rolled a joint beforehand.
College was like a dream come true. I was surrounded by kids my age who all loved to party. I rarely went to class, but always found a way to get the notes and slide by with the bare minimum needed to pass.
Up until my sophomore year of college, I only experimented with drinking and smoking marijuana. That changed when I had a very important final coming up and was extremely stressed. One of my friends noticed my demeanor, and offered me an orange pill and a blue pill. He told me, “Take this orange pill, and you will be able to study for hours. After, when you can’t sleep, take this blue pill to help you relax.” I was so intrigued that my friend was so confident that these two tiny pills could be the solution to my situation.
After taking the orange pill (which I later found out was Adderall), I spent the next 12 hours straight in the library, taking copious notes and doing more work than I had done all semester. I did not sleep that night before the exam, and went into the exam and passed with flying colors.
I left the exam feeling great about how I did—but I also felt like absolute garbage. I had not slept or eaten, and my body was achy all over. I took the little blue pill out of my back pocket, and Google informed me it was a painkiller called “Percocet.” I was certainly experiencing some physical and emotional pain, so I figured this might be the solution to my problems.
I went back to my dorm room, got into some comfortable clothes, and plopped myself on the pull-out sofa. Without hesitation, I put the blue pill on the back of my tongue and washed it down with a Keystone Light beer.
The feeling I experienced when I took that pill was indescribable. All of the negative emotions were washed away and replaced by a warm sensation that felt as if I was being wrapped in a warm blanket. This was the first time in my life that I had not a care or worry in the world. All of the racing thoughts disappeared, and I did not want this feeling to go away.