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Beach House Rehab Center » Blog » How to Help a Recovering Loved One Cope With Holiday Triggers
Christmas and the holidays can be a stressful time of year for anybody, but for those in recovery from drugs or alcohol (especially in early recovery), this reality can be compounded by higher risks of relapse. Environmental cues to drink or use drugs, in the form of work holiday parties, family reunions and other festive social gatherings, abound at this time of year. The holidays can also dredge up hard, sometimes traumatic memories and painful emotions that serve as internal triggers for substance abuse.
Such holiday triggers are also a source of worry and concern for close family members and friends, who wonder how to help their recovering loved one cope. This article will help to answer that question.
First, it is important to be familiar with common relapse triggers and, if possible, those that are of greatest risk to a recovering loved one at this time of year. These can be people, places, and things, according to a popular way of classifying addiction triggers:
Of the above relapse triggers, certain ones will present bigger threats to a recovering loved one’s sobriety than others. A cognitive behavioral strategy known as the “Five W’s” (for “When,” “Where,” “Why,” “With” and “What”) can help determine specifically when, where, why, who and what triggers a loved one’s substance abuse.
It can also help to list the various holiday events or gatherings where alcohol or other drugs will be on offer and to evaluate whether these rank as low-risk, medium-risk or high-risk. (If your loved one is wiling, you can even do this exercise together.) Those that are medium-risk or high-risk are good to cross off by planning a fun, alcohol-free activity in their place.
For low-risk situations, it will still be important to have a plan in place for dealing with triggers. For example, in a situation that is unavoidable and that will involve the presence of alcohol, you might encourage your loved one to arrive early and leave early from the event.
Planning in advance for relapse triggers is a critical step in coping with holiday triggers. Ultimately, you cannot plan for your loved one—they must find the motivation to plan and take responsibility for themselves—but you can ask them whether they have a plan in place and how you can help support their commitment to sobriety. If they do not have a plan in place, you can share your concerns that they do not have one. Be as gentle, direct and positive as possible when broaching the subject. For example, if you are aware that every Christmas Eve involves taking out the Scotch with extended family, you can ask your loved one how they plan to handle the situation and what you can do to support them.
Examples of how to support a loved one’s planning in advance might include:
One surefire way to overcome holiday relapse triggers is to avoid them altogether. In some cases, this strategy may not be feasible, but at other times, you can help a loved one cope with holiday triggers by offering a fun alternative. That may mean introducing a new holiday tradition in place of an old one or getting away for the holidays, by taking a trip to an entirely new place.
Research has shown that one of the most persuasive cues to drink is what a person expects to feel when under the influence. In other words, however strong they might be, social and environmental cues are typically less important predictors of relapse than what a loved one may be feeling and internalizing at the time. Connecting and staying connected with your recovering loved one during the holiday season is thus critical. Below are some examples of what that might look like:
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