Read the latest and greatest from our team
of incredible specialists.
Beach House Recovery Center » Blog » Coping with Negative Emotions in Addiction Recovery
When you first get clean from drugs, you experience a great sense of relief, even euphoria. For a while, it feels as though you will never have another problem.
That “while” may last until your first post-detox therapy session makes clear you have a lot of challenging changes still to make. It may last until you return to your everyday world and realize life isn’t going to reward your achievement by banishing the pressures you were trying to relieve with drugs. If you have the luxury of taking additional time off with few responsibilities, the “honeymoon” may even last for weeks after rehab. But eventually, it will end—and negative emotions will start trying to displace the positive ones. Most commonly, these negative emotions include:
This article will look at healthy strategies for coping with negative emotions during the journey through recovery and into long-term sobriety.
Emotions themselves aren’t “good” or “bad”—they’re normal and often unavoidable reactions to circumstances. In many cases, “feeling bad” is a potentially good thing: like the pain from stepping on a nail or brushing against a hot stove, it can signal us to pull back and evaluate the situation, and make necessary adjustments, before we get seriously hurt.
Many addictions are rooted in unwillingness to face negative emotions: fearing consequences for admitting to angry/heartbroken/anxious feelings, people turn to artificial numbness or the relief of instant gratification, rather than exploring the real reasons behind the negative emotion. Also, after taking hold, most addictions make emotional numbness a way of life. With all that baggage, it can be terrifying when feelings start to come back after detox (anyone who’s had a leg fall asleep knows that the initial return of sensation, while an improvement on numbness, comes with a flood of discomfort). Don’t compound the agony by focusing on why you “shouldn’t” feel that way: discuss your feelings, concerns and desires with a therapist or support partner.
(Note: In a situation where you’d like to see a specific change in something that triggers your negative emotions, it’s best to state how you feel and what you want as objectively as possible, without putting negative labels on the other party. If you engage in what’s been called “trying to put out the fire by fanning the flame”—“venting” without consideration for others or hope of a real solution—all you’ll get back will be compounded mutual hostility.)
Negative emotions can be a tool for growth if you listen to what they’re really saying. Negative thoughts, on the other hand, amount to talking yourself into giving up. Feeling inadequate is a signal to examine your goals and what you need to change to achieve them: but if you react by consciously telling yourself, “I’m no good, I’ll always be a failure,” you’ll soon have little left but self-pity and depression—and perhaps relapse into addiction.
It’s important to let go of negative thoughts, but that doesn’t mean fighting or ignoring them—that approach often just makes them stronger. Practice letting the thoughts roll on by and out of your brain, as you bring in positive truths to replace them: “I know I can do this. I’ve overcome obstacles before and I’ll succeed again.”
Nearly all addiction disorders are fed by living reactively rather than proactively, feeling like a victim, seeing little use in trying to make things happen and often not even being sure what you want to see happen. The opposite of this attitude is emotional maturity, an important ingredient in getting and staying sober. Emotional maturity doesn’t stop with controlling your temper: it means
If your emotional maturity is stunted, the first steps toward growing it are:
You’ll be surprised how much happier you soon become—and how much more good you do for others as well as yourself.
You’ll experience fewer negative emotions if you stay in good physical health, both overall and from day to day. Drinking too much coffee, skipping meals, staying up too late and getting flabby will all turn your general emotional state toward “grumpy and irritable.” Follow good health practices consistently—ask your doctor, if you aren’t sure where to start. And give yourself regular breaks, both physically and in terms of making allowances for not always getting everything exactly right.
And even when you feel negative, make a habit of talking positive—especially in terms of anticipating a joyful, sober future!
Other helpful posts about dealing with emotions and addiction:
Whether you’re researching for yourself or a loved one, Beach House can help. We understand that this is a serious time in your life and that the treatment center you choose matters. We want you to feel comfortable and empowered to make the right decision for yourself, a friend, or a family member. This is why a counselor is waiting and available to answer your questions and help put your mind at ease regarding the next steps. Many of the staff at Beach House have walked in your shoes. If you feel you’re ready or want more information about how to help a loved one, we can help today. You can also learn why we are voted the #1 rehab for addiction treatment in Florida.
"*" indicates required fields