10 Sober Self-Soothing Ideas
Self-soothing is not a need or behavior that only characterizes those with a dual diagnosis. On the contrary, self-soothing is a very normal part of what it means to be human. Research has shown that even emotionally healthy, well-adjusted people (who may or may not have a dual diagnosis for which they are getting help) report engaging in various self-soothing behaviors in the face of emotional strain or stress. Some of these more generalized behaviors include:
- Seeking “social proximity” to others
- Verbalizing emotions
- Seeking warm touch or physical warmth
- Listening to soothing music
- Consuming comfort foods
For those in recovery from a dual diagnosis, then, the following might classify as more concrete examples of the above behaviors:
- Attending a 12-Step meeting or joining friends for a fun and sober form of entertainment (seeking social proximity to others)
- Calling a close friend and venting, consulting a therapist, or even letting out your feelings to the person in the mirror (verbalizing emotions)
- Getting a massage, hugging someone else, or (if you’re alone) giving yourself a big bear hug (seeking warm touch)
- Sitting in a sauna, Jacuzzi or warm bath (seeking physical warmth)
- Playing a favorite upbeat tune while dancing and singing along or mindfully tuning in to a more relaxing piece (listening to soothing music)
- Indulging in a favorite comfort food (with the potential exception being situations in which a dually diagnosed eating disorder may warrant finding an alternative form of self-soothing)
Here are some other forms of self-soothing, based on what also has worked for my clients:
- Running and/or other forms of vigorous exercise
- Yoga
- Time spent in nature and the outdoors, like hikes in the mountains or walks on the beach
And, clocking in as #10 on a list of 10 ways to self-soothe … small talk. Yep. An article in this month’s issue of The Atlantic cited results from a couple of studies that found a correlation between small talk and a sense of greater wellbeing and connectedness to others. The implication? Striking up a conversation with a fellow commuter on the train ride to work or making small talk with the person bagging your groceries can be another effective way to self-soothe.
Got some other suggestions not on this list? Send them along! We love hearing from you.
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